The Past Doesn't Always Matter
by DragonRider8
Summary: What happens when a man from Kate's past washes up on the island? Will all of her secrets finally come out? Post 'What Kate Did'. Just so you know I suck at summaries, and I couldn't think of a good title. JATE. please R&R! FINALLY FINISHED!
1. Reflections And Reunions

**A/N: This story takes place just after Kate and Jack kiss (the episode 'What Kate Did' only just aired a couple of weeks ago in Australia) it starts off with Kate at Shannon's grave talking to Sayid, but then goes back to Jack in the clearing where they kissed. I'm sorry that the time jumps around a bit.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Lost, if I did Kate and Jack would be together and Shannon wouldn't have died.**

**REFLECTIONS AND REUNIONS**

**Kate's POV**

I did it again. I gave into my emotions. Something I swore I would never happen again. I can see Sayid coming up to me. Well, not me, Shannon. He sits down opposite me and doesn't say anything, so I decide to say something.

"I know what it's like to lose someone you love," I said quietly without looking up, "So, if you ever need someone to talk to, my door is always open."

"Who did you lose?" asked Sayid in the same, toneless voice that I used.

This time when I replied, it was in a barely audible whisper,

"Everyone I ever loved."

Sayid looked at me, but my eyes were still downcast.

"Does...does the pain ever go away?" he asked.

"No," I replied shortly, "no, it doesn't, it gets easier though, and sometimes, you can forget the pain, but only briefly, then it comes back again." At this point I stood up abruptly to walk away, but then I paused and said to him,

"Pain is a heavy burden Sayid, but guilt is heavier still, so I'd be thankful that I didn't have to carry that around too if I were you."

And then I walked away.

**Jack's POV**

What the hell just happened!

Am I dreaming or did Kate just kiss me? Okay, maybe it's time that I admitted it to myself. I love Kate. I have been wanting that kiss for so long, and finally I got it, but she obviously doesn't feel the same way. I mean, the only reason I can think of for why she ran was that she didn't want the kiss, that it was a mistake.

Oh God, what am I doing just standing here? I should have followed her! God I'm an idiot! She's probably long gone! I start running, I can hear her voice in the clearing ahead. I stopped where I could hear what was going on, without her seeing me.

"I know what it's like to lose someone you love," I could hear her say sadly, "So, if you ever need someone to talk to, my door is always open."

"Who did you lose?" asked a voice I recognised to be Sayid's. I have to strain my ears to hear her reply.

"Everyone I ever loved."

"Does...does the pain ever go away?"

"No, no it doesn't, it gets easier though, and sometimes, you can forget the pain, but only briefly, then it comes back again. Pain is a heavy burden Sayid, but guilt is heavier still, so I'd be thankful that I didn't have to carry that around too if I were you," I briefly wondered what that was about, but then I heard her walk off.

**Narration**

Later that week, Kate walked along the beach, apart from everyone else. It was late afternoon. She was thinking about how Jack was giving her the cold shoulder. She wondered about the thoughts that went through her head just after she and Jack had kissed.

_What if he doesn't feel the same way?_

_What if he leaves me after we get off the island?_

_What if he dies like Tom did? Because of me?_

_What if he hates me when he finds out what I did to Wayne?_

_What if-_

Her thoughts were interrupted by yells at the camp. She started to run, worried about what she might find.

Meanwhile, Jack was at the beach checking on Aaron and talking to Claire.

"So did Charlie talk to you about Kate?"

"What about her?" he replied with more aggression than he had intended.

"Well," Claire went on, "Hurley moved his tent closer to Kate's a couple of weeks ago, something about being cooler in the shade, anyway, he told Charlie that every night, Kate has terrible nightmares. Always the same. She screams about someone named Tom dieing, and how it was all her fault. Hurley told Charlie and they confronted her and told her to tell you, that was yesterday, but she refused and said she didn't want to waste your time. Then Charlie told me and I told him to tell you."

Jack was shocked. "He didn't say anything. And neither did Kate."

Claire laid Aaron down and continued, "Well, Charlie also mentioned something about being threatened and being more afraid of Kate than of you."

Suddenly, they heard shouts coming from the water and Sun yelled out in her broken English,

"Jack! Jack! A life raft is just out off shore! There is an unconscious man aboard! Come quick!"

Jack started running and saw Sawyer pulling the small orange raft out of the water. He ran over and saw the man. He had chocolate brown, curly hair and was about 35. The man woke up and looked around confused with green/hazel eyes that seemed familiar somehow.

"Hey everyone!" yelled Sawyer, "Shut up and give the Doc some space to work!"

"What's your name?" asked Jack, "How did you get here?"

"My name is Luke," the man explained, "I was on a small boat with two other men exploring the pacific when we hit a reef and sunk, the others drowned but I survived and got on the raft. I was floating around for three days, but guess I must have fallen unconscious."

Luke looked around the beach and asked, "Where am I?"

So Jack with help from the others explained the situation, basically: plane crashed, stranded, not much hope of being rescued any time soon.

"Come on," said Jack, "We better get you to the hat-"

"Luke?" interrupted a breathless voice from Jack's right. Both he and Luke turned sharply and saw that Kate had pushed her way through the crowd and was staring at Luke as if she'd seen a ghost.

"Katie?" gasped Luke in an equally stunned voice, "is that you?"

Then Kate's face broke into the broadest smile anyone there had ever seen her show and she ran up to Luke and threw her arms around his neck and he lifted her off the ground and swung her around. She then buried her face into his neck and started sobbing tears of joy.

"I can't believe it's you!" she chocked out between sobs, "I thought you were dead! I spent years blaming myself! I thought I would never see you again!"

Jack briefly wondered if this was the man who owned the plane she cherished so much, the one she said she had killed.

"It's ok Katie, it's ok," said Luke with his arm wrapped around her protectively.

"I missed you so much Luke!"

And Luke's reply shocked them all.

"I missed you too Sis."


	2. Eavesdropping and Nightmares

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Lost…blah, blah, blah…JJ Abrams does…blah, blah, blah**

**EAVESDROPPING AND NIGHTMARES**

"You have a brother Freckles!" asked Sawyer, but Kate wasn't listening.

"Kate," asked Sun placing a hand on the girl's shoulder, "I think that Jack should take your brother to the Hatch to check up on him."

Kate looked around with a grin on her face, "Oh, yeah, right." But from the way she was holding on to her brother's arm, you could see that she had no intention of letting go any time soon.

At the Hatch, Jack had just given Luke the all-clear and was packing away his things when he heard Kate and Luke talking in the next room. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but he couldn't resist.

"So Katie, what was that about me being dead? Didn't you get my letters?"

"No, I never did get any letters, you were gone for about a week when _he_ told me that it was my fault you ran away. Of course Ma believed him and never forgave me. Heck, even _I_ believed him and never forgave myself either."

"How could you blame yourself! You never did anything wrong!"

"Luke, I was sixteen, we had a fight and you left two days later, what was I supposed to think!"

"But I explained it in the note I left!"

"Luke, if there was a note, I never saw it."

"The bastard! He must have hidden it! And the letters! Anyway, you still haven't told me about the dead bit yet."

"Well, two years after you left, he claimed to have gotten a letter that said you died at sea. We had a small ceremony where we threw flowers off a cliff into the ocean. He mentioned something to me about it being my fault again."

"You're smiling! What's so funny about that?"

"Just remembering what happened after."

"What?"

"I punched him and almost knocked him out."

Jack heard the both of them laughing.

"What did Ma and Dad do?"

"Ma didn't see it and Daddy just laughed!"

They laughed some more.

"So how are they? Ma and Dad?"

Kate went quiet.

"Katie? What is it?"

"I…I…"

"Katie," Luke's voice had a sharp edge to it.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Jack took a deep breath and decided to stop eavesdropping and go and press the button. He wondered who the man that they kept referring to just as '_He'_ in the same tone you might use when talking about rats in the sewer was. He decided to ask Kate about it later, then remembered that he was meant to be angry with her, but when he heard her sobbing in the other room, and her brother saying:

"It's ok, what happened to Dad was not your fault, and as for Ma, if that's how she reacted when you risked your freedom to see her on her deathbed, then she deserved to die alone,"

Then Jack realised that she must have been through a lot of pain.

Suddenly, Hurley burst in, "Hey Kate, do you want to swap shifts, it's now and I thought you might want to stay with Luke."

"Thanks Hurley," smiled Kate after discreetly wiping away the tears, "Who am I with?"

"Jack I think, well, I'd better go, see ya Kate, nice to meet you Luke."

Jack entered with a glass of water just as Hurley left.

"I want you to drink a full glass every 20-30 minutes," He said passing the glass to Luke, avoiding Kate's eyes.

"I'm going to bed, Hurley just dropped off my stuff," Kate cut in.

"Night Katie," smiled Luke.

"Night Luke, Jack," adding the 'Jack' on, as if it were an afterthought.

Luke woke with a sudden jolt as he heard screams from the other room

He leapt out of bed and ran to the couch where Kate was tossing and turning in her sleep, screaming out the name 'Tom', and Jack was kneeling next to her looking panicked and trying to wake her up. Suddenly, Kate screamed "TOM!" a final time and sat bolt-upright, her hands gripping the sheets tightly and looking around as if wondering where she was, and then she started sobbing.

"Katie! Wh-what just happened!" asked Luke putting an arm around her.

"Claire said that she's been having nightmares, but I didn't expect them to be this bad," explained a worried Jack.

Suddenly, the small toy plane that Kate was always carrying around fell out of the sheets and to the floor. Luke looked confused and bent to pick it up.

"Katie, wasn't this Tom's?" he asked her, "What are you doing with it?" suddenly it hit him, "Katie, what happened to Tom?"

Kate just sobbed harder and buried her head in his neck.

"Katie!" he said with the same sharp edge he had used earlier, "He was my best friend! What happened!"

Jack suddenly realised that that was his cue to leave and quietly got up and went to the next room.


	3. A Heart To Heart

**DISCLAIMER: I don't…hang on, why am I even bothering to write a disclaimer! This FAN FICTION so I OBVIOUSLY don't own Lost!**

**A HEART TO HEART**

The next day, Jack was taking a much needed break when Luke came and sat next to him.

"This island is great for her, I haven't seen Katie so open and happy since she was about nine," Luke told him.

"Open?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Luke replied, watching his sister laughing with Claire, "She used to laugh all the time, she could never keep a secret for more than a day before she blurted it out, she hated being alone and had a VERY short attention span! She would always find something to do on the farm; she loved it there and said she never wanted to leave. Unfortunately, that all changed when Wayne moved in." There is was again, that disgusted tone.

"Who's Wayne?"

"Wayne _was_ Ma's boyfriend. Ma divorced Dad just after Katie was born, and dated Wayne until I was about twelve and Katie was nine, then they got married. As much as I hate to admit it, I actually liked him before they got married, but then he showed his true colours and I left to live with Dad about a year later. Dad and I desperately wanted Katie to come too, but Ma wouldn't let her. Ma was always making Katie's decisions for her, but she never made the right ones. I never got along with Ma for that very reason, but Katie loved and defended her, just like Ma loved and defended Wayne." Luke paused and smiled sadly in Kate's direction.

"Anyway, after _he_ came along, she would run away from home at least twice a month, she locked herself up in her room for hours and she stopped talking to her friends.

They all gave up on her, except for Tom, my best friend who lived next door; he was the only one who realised that her pushing him away was her way of dealing with things. He realised that she believed that isolating herself would cause less pain for both herself and those she loved, because then she wouldn't drag them down. He was determined to fix her.

They started going out about a year later and then Katie stopped running away, at least for a while, then he left for college to become a doctor, and I had already left to travel the world, so she was alone."

Jack was in complete and utter shock. "When I questioned Kate about the toy plane she said that it belonged to the man she killed." It was more of a statement than a question, and he was surprised when Luke chuckled sadly.

"That's Katie's guilt talking, she told me last night. She told me that too when I questioned her, but I knew better and kept going until I got everything out of her, she has a bad habit of blaming herself for everything that goes wrong. She likes to make a mountain out of a molehill.

You see, Katie does things on impulse. She thinks that she's doing the right thing for her family, but it always ends up backfiring. She thought she was protecting Ma and the next thing she knows she's on the run as a wanted criminal. She would have done _anything_ for Ma and Ma repays her by turning her in."

"What did she do?" Jack blurted out before he could stop himself.

Luke shook his head, "That's not my story to tell, she'll tell you when she's good and ready. You know Jack, it may seem like she doesn't trust you, but she trusts you more than anyone else on this island, in fact, you're the only person I've seen her get this close to apart from Tom. Oh, and she doesn't want to tell you because she's terrified that you'll hate her for what she did."

There was an awkward pause.

"How did Wayne change?" Jack was almost afraid to find out.

"He didn't, we just never knew that side of him existed. He started to abuse Ma and Katie. I know for a fact that he physically and verbally abused them both, I heard him yelling at Katie often, and I once saw him hit her. That was on her fifteenth birthday. She always denied that he sexually harassed her, but I know he did, I could see it in her eyes when I confronted her about it."

Jack was horrified. He could never have imagined that all those terrible things could happen to Kate.

_Oh my God, I had no idea that she had been through so much. And I've been so harsh to her!_

"Shh, listen," hissed Luke suddenly.

Jack went quiet and faintly heard something in the background. "What is that?"

Luke suddenly smiled and stood up, "I think that you might want to see this."

**A/N: Sorry that it's a bit short, and I left it on a bit of a cliffhanger just to torture you!**

**ANOTHER A/N: the next chapter is almost finished BUT I am not posting it until the number next to 'Reviews' says (at least) 20, instead of 12!**


	4. Music Always Helps

**A/N: I would like to thank:**

**audiodream**

**BuckyBug**

**pinkstar1409**

**seth4summer**

**scouse-jater**

**honeyduck**

**Ella Jullian**

**steam rolled harry potter**

**jimmy-barnes-13**

**Orlando-crazy**

**&**

**simp**

**for all of the great reviews!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own 'Because of You' by Kelly Clarkson or Lost**

**MUSIC ALWAYS HELPS**

Kate was walking along the beach after she visited Claire. She was thinking as usual. She suddenly had an urge to do something that she hadn't done in a long time. She walked over to Charlie who was playing his guitar.

"Hey Charlie, could I have a go?"

"Sure," he replied, "I didn't know you could play."

"I haven't played in ages, but I think now's a good time to refresh my memory," she smiled at him.

She sat down and started to strum an introduction and then started to sing quietly.

_I will not make, the same mistakes that you did  
I will not let myself  
Cause my heart so much misery  
I will not break the way you did,  
You fell so hard  
I've learned the hard way  
To never let it get that far_

Kate didn't notice that Charlie was staring at her with his mouth open. He was obviously in admiration of her musical talent and her beautiful voice.

_  
Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid_

Kate was so involved in her singing that she didn't even notice that she had an audience.

Claire was watching, holding Aaron close, with tears in her eyes. Sawyer came out of his tent to see what was going on and stood there gob-smacked and without a smart-ass remark for once. Rose and Bernard wrapped their arms around each other and watched on with sad smiles.

_  
I lose my way  
And it's not too long before you point it out  
I cannot cry  
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes  
I'm forced to fake  
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life  
My heart can't possibly break  
When it wasn't even whole to start with  
_

Sayid tried desperately to hold back tears as he thought of Shannon. Locke watched showing no emotion on his face, even though you could tell that he was touched. Eko surveyed her sadly, understanding the grief she was singing about.

_Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid_

_  
_Kate poured so much sadness and emotion into her lyrics that even Jin understood as he draped a protective arm around Sun's shoulders, who was also trying not to cry. Ana Lucia was watching in awe, despite the jealous voice at the back of her head.

_  
I watched you die  
I heard you cry every night in your sleep  
I was so young  
You should have known better than to lean on me  
You never thought of anyone else  
You just saw your pain  
And now I cry in the middle of the night  
For the same damn thing_

Luke (who had arrived a few minutes earlier) smiled, leant over to a speechless Charlie and said proudly, "I taught her when she was twelve and I was about fifteen, it wasn't very good for my ego when she turned out to be better than me."

_  
Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I try my hardest just to forget everything  
Because of you  
I don't know how to let anyone else in  
Because of you  
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty  
Because of you  
I am afraid_

Jack watched and listened to Kate playing from the trees at a distance and finally understood all of the guilt, regret and pain that she had experienced in her life and felt his heart breaking at the thought of all those terrible things happening to her.

_  
Because of you  
Because of you_

Suddenly everyone started clapping and Kate looked up shocked, as if she'd just come out of a daze.

"Well now I feel like a bloody, not to mention talentless, idiot!" laughed Charlie.

"That was beautiful!" exclaimed Claire wiping away her tears.

"Why didn't you show us you could play before honey?" asked Rose with a small smile.

"You could be the next American Idol with a voice like that!" Hurley yelled over the crowd.

"Well, well, well ain't you just full of surprises Freckles!" drawled Sawyer when his brain started working again and he had snapped out of his shocked trance.

"It was nothing, really," muttered an embarrassed Kate.

"Come on Katie," Luke butted in, "Stop being so modest, you won competitions back home, and didn't an agent once contact you when you were only, what, fifteen?"

"Shut up Luke," mumbled Kate as she blushed.

"Hey everyone!" shouted Sawyer, "Here's a rare sight! Freckles is blushing! Come on everyone, this is something you don't see every-OW!"

Incase you were wondering, Kate punched him in the arm.

"If you don't shut up, you'll find yourself with an injury _much_ worse than a bullet in your shoulder and then _you_ will become a rare sight," threatened Kate.

Sawyer was about to retaliate when Luke cut in, "I'd listen to her, when I was seventeen and she was fourteen, I accidentally slipped a secret of hers to her friends and…let's just say I started to regret taking her to karate lessons," he winced at the memory. "I was three years older than her, not to mention more experienced, and it still hurt!"

At the mention of 'karate' Sawyer decided to back off.

"Needed to clear your mind?" asked Luke when the crowd cleared away.

Kate smiled at him and answered, "Yeah, you were right. Music _does_ always help."

**A/N: Once again, thank you for all of the reviews!**


	5. Confessions During Karate

**A/N: One again, thank you all for the reviews, constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome.**

**ANOTHER A/N: sorry that it's taken me so long to update, but I've had a maths test on Monday, a science test and a history test yesterday (do I really care about Pythagoras' bloody Theorem, ecology or the Islamic world during the middle ages?) and an English assessment which I handed in today! (stupid anecdote!)**

**DISCLAIMER: yeah, yeah, you know the drill**

**CONFESSIONS DURING KARATE**

About a week later, Jack woke up a lot earlier than usual. I'm talking 'crack of dawn' earlier. He had been thinking about what Luke had said to him before, but still couldn't bring himself to face Kate. He decided that he needed a break from everything and went for a walk. He started walking through the jungle aimlessly in the general direction of the beach. Suddenly he heard strange noises in a small clearing off to his right. He peaked around a tree and got a shock from what he saw.

Kate and Luke, both in loose fitting tracksuit pants, Kate wearing a white tank top and Luke wearing no shirt at all. What were the doing? They were practicing karate and chatting between kicks and punches!

Jack decided to watch, but then got another shock when he realised what was so familiar about this place. It was the clearing where Kate kissed him!

Luke suddenly threw a punch at Kate that she easily dodged.

"You're losing your touch!" She laughed, but then got a shock when he suddenly dropped to the ground and kicked her legs out from under her, but before he could pin her down she pushed herself off of the ground and back flipped out of he way.

"Not bad," commented Luke as they started to circle each other, "You've been practicing."

"I like to do my homework," she smirked at him. This playful teasing, along with the kicks and the punches went on for a few minutes when Luke suddenly asked:

"I'm going to move to the caves, want to come with me?"

"You know perfectly well that I'm not going to move to the caves," Kate replied indignantly.

"Come on Katie," Luke laughed, "it's about time you got over this claustrophobia of yours!"

"Easy for you to say!" she retorted angrily, throwing another punch at him, "Wayne didn't lock _you_ in the tiny cupboard under the stairs for a whole day and a whole night when you were ten!"

This shocked both Jack _and_ Luke.

"He what!" Yelled Luke suddenly stopping

Big mistake.

Kate took this opportunity to do a spinning kick, which he ducked at the last minute.

**(A/N: They keep trying to pin the other to the ground during this conversation, neither one doing better that the other. I'm not going to describe many more of the techniques because I know nothing about karate and I don't want to embarrass myself by trying)**

"The point is that I am _not_ moving to the caves, too closed in. Can we please change the subject now?"

"Ok then," smirked Luke, "Jack."

"What about him?" snapped Kate.

"You like him."

"What in the world would have given you that idea?" she replied in an icy tone.

"You're avoiding him."

"So."

"Come on Katie, I know you. The last time you were this desperate to have nothing to do with someone was when you realised that you loved Tom."

Jack was stunned speechless.

"And I've talked to everyone around here and they all say that you and Jack used to flirt and talk all of the time."

"I flirt and chat with Sawyer, that doesn't mean anything."

"Come on Katie, I think I've pretty much figured out what happened."

"Then enlighten me Dr Phil."

"You and Jack had an argument, he started hanging out with Ana Lucia, you felt lonely and felt that the only person you could turn to was another criminal low-life like yourself, aka, Sawyer."

A stunned and VERY awkward pause followed this statement.

"Wow, you're good," Kate finally managed to choke out.

"Thank you," he replied smugly.

Another awkward pause.

"Come on Katie, just tell him how you feel!"

"I can't! We can't be together, we just can't!"

"Honestly I'm sure we've had this conversation before. Now why not?"

"It isn't as simple as it was with Tom!" she finally yelled.

"I repeat: Why not!"

"Because that was in High School, and all I was worried about then was that Tom being seen with me, the daughter of a drunken bastard, would ruin his reputation and his chances of becoming a doctor like he always wanted! Don't you understand! It's much more complicated this time! After Tom died I swore that I'd never love again! I swore that no one else would ever suffer because of me! That's why it's different! I spent five years building a wall around myself to keep people out so that they wouldn't get hurt, and then Jack comes along and tears it down in a few short weeks! Not to mention that he's a perfectly respectable surgeon and I'm a wanted criminal! I'm not good enough for him! I know that no matter how hard I try I'll only end up disappointing him! About two weeks ago in this very clearing I finally gave in and kissed him! When I realised that I had gone too far and crossed the line I did the only thing I knew how to. I ran. It's not that I like running, it's just that it's the only thing I know how to do! Once, before this God damn island, and after Tom, I came close to falling in love but ran as soon as I realised how I felt! I thought that it was hard to run away from him, but it was nothing compared to running away from Jack! I turned to look over my shoulder at him as I ran away! I've never looked back before! How does he do this to me? How can he make me feel so safe and yet so vulnerable at the same time! Not even Tom could made me feel like this!" She yelled at her brother.

I think I might take a second to tell you about their position at this time. Luke was lying face down on the ground with one of Kate's knees digging into the small of his back. She had also twisted his right arm around behind his back in a position that looked anything but comfortable. Luke suddenly jerked up and put Kate in a similar position to the one he had been in a moment ago.

"Listen to me Katie," He said quietly, "I can't say that I understand everything that you've been through, but I'm going to ask you this, what does Jack have in common with Tom?"

Kate paused at the unexpected question and then answered, "Well, Jack's a doctor like Tom was. Jack has the same strange obsession that Tom had, he has to fix things, he can never just let it slide," She suddenly laughed and said, "I always admired their determination and their unwillingness to give up. Ummm, what else? He only ever sees things in black and white, he refuses to see the grey. Just like Tom refused to see me as anything other than 'Katie, The Girl Next Door', Jack seems determined to picture me as a hardened criminal with no heart and no regrets." Kate sighed sadly.

"And how are they different?" asked Luke

Kate thought for a minute.

"Jack is more of a leader than Tom was. Tom was always in the background, unwilling to take charge. Jack was reluctant too, but he did what needed to be done for the good of everyone when Tom would have refused point blank. Also, even though Tom was determined, he was impatient and he would eventually give up. He seemed completely unfazed whenever a patient of his died, whereas Jack seems to go into denial whenever he thinks he's going to lose someone or something. Charlie and Claire once got kidnapped by the Others and Jack and I followed the trail into the jungle where we found Charlie hanging by a noose in a tree. We cut him down and Jack kept giving him CPR, even after about two minutes. I told him to accept that Charlie was dead but he kept going and, against all odds, Charlie started to breathe again. Knowing Tom he probably would have given up after the first minute." Kate shoved her brother off of her and sat up, "Why are you asking so many questions?"

"Because you needed to say certain things out loud before you could accept them," answered Luke as he dusted himself off, "I'll see you later, ok?"

"Sure," replied Kate in a dazed and confused voice before walking off. As soon as Kate was out of earshot he said, "You can come out now Jack."

Jack sighed and decided to face the music. He walked out from behind the tree to see a very amused Luke buttoning up his shirt.

"I should go talk to her huh?" Jack mumbled without being able to meet Luke's eyes.

"I'd give her a day to think and then confront her. Katie's an early riser so I'd try to catch her around dawn tomorrow," Luke smiled knowingly. "I don't think that I'll be moving to the caves now, I think I'm needed at the beach. See you later Jack."

And just like Kate did, he Luke walked off.

**A/N: It might take me a while to update as I have another HUGE English assessment that needs doing, but more reviews might motivate me enough to write more sooner!**


	6. The Truth At Last

**DISCLAIMER: do I really need to repeat myself?**

**A/N 1: I handed my assessment in on Monday and spent the rest of the week writing this. My assessment was to write my autobiography. It's a good thing that I only had 13 years and 10 months to write about, otherwise I'd still be working on it!**

**A/N 2: I'd just like to say…_THE SOCCEROOS BEAT CROATIA!(Actually, it was a tie, BUT WE GO ON TO THE NEXT ROUND!)_ **

**Oh, and…HARRY KEWELL'S GOAL WAS BLOODY BRILLIANT! **

**Sorry, I just needed to get that out of my system!**

**A/N 3: to prevent any confusion, the first song ('Leave Me Alone') is how Kate is trying to feel (basically it's her in denial) and the second song ('Speechless') is how she really feels. Both songs are by The Veronicas**

**A/N 4: Get ready, this is a _long_ chapter…**

**THE TRUTH AT LAST**

Kate woke up early again as usual. Once again she couldn't clear her head so she went over to Charlie's tent, borrowed his guitar and left a note saying that she would return it. She walked further along the beach, sat down by the water and started to play and sing softly, completely oblivious to the fact that Jack was standing in the trees just a few metres behind her.

_I'm getting tired of you pushing me 'round  
Dragging me down  
Making a sound because you wanna  
I guess that's why I like messing with you  
Putting you through  
A lesson or two, because I'm gonna  
Before I go my own way  
I just gotta say_

Leave me alone  
Get out of my face  
I'm tired and low  
And feeling so misplaced  
Time for you to go  
Cuz I know I'm better off on my own, oh  
Leave me alone

This isn't gonna work  
Don't call me on the phone  
Because I'm all out of words  
I'll face the unknown  
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown  
Oh, Leave me alone

There was the time I thought you were the one  
Having some fun  
Getting it done  
What an illusion  
'Cause you were trying to take control of me  
That couldn't be, I need to be free of this confusion  
Don't give me a guilt trip, because I'm so over it

Leave me alone  
Get out of my face  
I'm tired and low  
And feeling so misplaced  
Time for you to go  
Cuz I know I'm better off on my own, oh  
Leave me alone

This isn't gonna work  
Don't call me on the phone  
Because I'm all out of words  
I'll face the unknown  
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown  
Oh, leave me alone

Don't turn around and don't look back  
I see right through all your selfless acts

Oh

Leave me alone  
Get out of my face  
I'm tired and low  
And feeling so misplaced  
Time for you to go  
Cuz I know I'm better off on my own, oh  
Leave me alone

This isn't gonna work  
Don't call me on the phone  
Because I'm all out of words  
I'll face the unknown  
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown  
Oh, leave me alone

If you win your love

I'll feel better on my own

Leave me alone

Kate strummed a final time and looked up to see Vincent sitting in front of her. He gave a loud bark and she laughed softly and scratched him behind his ears.

"I really am better off alone," she said sadly to him, and sighed, "The only thing wrong with that it that I hate being alone."

The golden retriever barked once more and she laughed again sadly, "Ok then, maybe I should sing about how I really feel."

So Kate began to pluck a tune and this time sang a different song;

_Feels like I have always known you  
And I swear I dreamt about you  
All those endless nights I was alone  
It's like I've spent forever searching  
Now I know that it was worth it  
With you it feels like I am finally home_

Falling head over heels  
Thought I knew how it feels  
But with you it's like the first day of my life

Cuz you leave me speechless  
When you talk to me  
You leave me breathless  
The way you look at me  
You manage to disarm me  
My soul is shining through  
Can't help but surrender  
My everything to you

I thought I could resist you  
I thought that I was strong  
Somehow you were different from what I've known  
I didn't see you coming  
You took me by surprise and  
You stole my heart before I could say no

Falling head over heels  
Thought I knew how it feels  
But with you it's like the first day of my life

You leave me speechless  
When you talk to me  
You leave me breathless  
The way you look at me  
You manage to disarm me  
My soul is shining through  
I can't help but surrender  
Oh no  
My everything to you

You leave me speechless  
(the way you smile, the way you touch my face)  
You leave me breathless  
(it's something that you do I can't explain)  
I run a million miles just to hear you say my name  
Baby

You leave me speechless  
You leave me breathless  
The way you look at me  
You manage to disarm me  
My soul is shining through  
I can't help but surrender  
My everything to you

From the trees, Jack saw Kate wipe her eyes with the back of her hand and he realised that she was crying. He went to take a step forwards, but he snapped a twig. He saw Kate's shoulders tense up and he knew that she knew he was there. He walked over to her and asked, "Is this seat taken?"

"No and neither is this one," snapped Kate getting up, but Jack grabbed her wrist and practically begged,

"Please, just hear me out, I promise I won't ask questions."

Kate eyed him suspiciously but then sat down. Jack sighed with relief and started;

"I've done nothing but pester you about your life and I now realise that I haven't even told you about my life, which really isn't fair, so I'm going to tell you a bit about my life, but don't feel like you need to talk afterwards, I'll understand if you still don't want to talk."

Kate just stared out towards the ocean and nodded her head slightly. Jack took a deep breath and continued;

"I used to be almost a completely different person. My bedside manner sucked. I was always impatient and never made promises because I didn't want to give my patients false hope. Then one day a woman who was in a car crash came into surgery. She asked if she would ever walk again and I told her, rather bluntly, that she wouldn't and she started to cry. Then my dad, who was Chief of Surgery, took me aside and told me off for upsetting the patient. I said I didn't want to give her false hope. He replied by telling me that there is always hope and that it didn't have to be false. **(A/N: I think that's what he said, I can't remember)** So I went back in there and prepared for surgery. She suddenly whispered something about wanting to dance at her wedding and then I leant over and promised her that I would fix her,"

Jack suddenly laughed and continued.

"All of the other doctors and nurses were shocked at me being so nice to a patient. The looks on their faces was priceless. Anyway, we go into surgery and at the end I thought that I had failed her, that I hadn't been able to fix her like I promised, but by some miracle, Sarah was able to walk again. Anyway, about a week later, after she had gone home, she calls me and asks if I would like to go out to dinner and I accepted. One thing lead to another and we started going out. After about a year we were getting married. Then, after about two years of marriage, Sarah suddenly announces that she had been having an affair and that she was leaving. Then things only got worse. Dad started drinking a lot and one day he operated on a patient when he was completely wasted. When I realised that, I stepped in and informed him that I was going to finish the surgery, but by then it was too late. The patient died and the husband decided to sue us. When I saw Dad lying to everyone on the Hospital Board, I stood up and asked if I could revise my statement and I told the court that he was obviously incapacitated during the operation. I ruined my own father. The father who taught me how to be a good doctor, no matter how harsh his methods of doing so were. We didn't talk for two months, and then I got a call from my Mum saying that Dad had taken a sort of 'vacation' to clear his mind and that she wanted me to bring him home. About three days after I arrived in Sydney, I found out that my father had died. I was bringing his body back home when, you guessed it, Craphole Island!"

Jack went quiet and glanced over to Kate who was still looking out into the ocean, but her expression was different this time. It was softer and more sympathetic.

They sat in silence for a few minutes and when Jack realised that she wasn't going to say anything he went to get up, but suddenly;

"I wasn't always like this. I had hopes and dreams just like everyone else. I never even liked running. In fact I never wanted to leave Iowa, but all that changed when Wayne came along. He was always scared of Luke. He was careful never to hit me or Ma in front of him. I think it had to do with Luke being twice his size and a karate black belt. Anyway, after Luke left he would hit me and Ma almost everyday and force Ma to…anyway, then I started running away. Sometimes I'd get as far as the next city, but the first time I didn't get very far, only next door to…"

She broke off awkwardly, took a deep breath and continued.

"To Tom's house. Daddy and Luke lived four hours away in the city and Ma worked long hours so Tom was all I had. He was a year younger than Luke and about two years older than me. When I was thirteen we started dating. His parents never liked me because of Wayne; the whole town knew he was a drunk and a real son of a bitch. When we got older and he was getting ready to go to college his Mum kept telling me that I wasn't good enough for him, that I would never be good enough, for him or anyone else, ever. But Tom told me that I was all he needed and I believed him."

Kate's voice had gotten all chocked up and Jack noticed that tears were threatening to spill.

"His Mother was right. Anyway, after he left I had no one. Luke had run away to travel the world. Daddy had left. Ma defended Wayne. And Wayne…well Wayne was Wayne. When I was nineteen I had decided to make Daddy a scrapbook for his birthday. He was in the army, I told you that didn't I? Anyway, I found an old photo of him in Korea. According to the date on the back he had been there for about a year and didn't come home until four months before I was born."

Kate went quiet and waited for Jack to realise what this meant. When she continued her voice was all choked up.

"When I realised that Wayne was my real father, I was disgusted. I realised that if he was a part of me then I would never be good, I would never have anything good in me. One night when Ma was working and Wayne was out getting wasted I set up a gas leak in the house and I rigged it so that when he got home the house would blow. When he got there I helped him into his bed and left, but it happened sooner than I thought and I was nearly caught in the blast."

She went quiet and Jack wanted to comfort her but knew that she had to do this without interruption.

Kate continued;

"My own Mother turned me in. It was night time and raining when the Marshall was escorting me to the police, so he didn't see the horse on the road until the last second. He swerved and we crashed into a telegraph pole. He was knocked unconscious so I grabbed the keys to both the handcuffs and his car, pushed him out and drove off. I was on the run for about two years when I decided to contact my Dad because I was lonely. His superior officer found out and he got demoted. He got sent out into a shoot-out where he was shot and killed. Another death on my hands. About a year after that I got a letter from Tom saying that Ma had gotten cancer and was at the hospital he worked at. I met up with him and found out that he had gotten married and had a son. I snuck in with his help but when Ma saw me she called for help. I ran out into the car park with Tom. I asked him to give me his keys and he did. I got into the driver's seat and he got into the passengers. I told him to get out but he refused. He begged me to turn myself in but I didn't. The police shot at me, but missed me. When I got away I looked over and Tom was…he was…they shot him instead of me. I stayed there crying until I heard the sirens, then I saw his favourite childhood toy sitting in the backseat."

At this point Kate pulled the toy aeroplane out of her pocket and continued;

"I almost grabbed it before I ran, but I didn't have time. Ma died about two moths later, alone and hating me."

Jack was about to say something when Kate kept going.

"Then, about two years after that, I was so lonely that I decided to call the Marshal at his house. All I needed was someone to talk to. I started to taunt him about how I was free, and then he told me that he had Tom's plane in New Mexico. So I got myself caught on purpose, I hung around long enough to find out which bank and which safety deposit box, and then I stole the key from him when he wasn't looking, and when I got away I came up with a plan. Before I knew it I had seduced some loser into organising an armed robbery at the bank with two other idiots just so I could get the plane. But, during the robbery things started to get out of hand and he was about to shoot the manager, even though we agreed that no one was going to get hurt. So I grabbed a gun off of his friend, who was standing next to me. I shot the son of a bitch in the leg, grabbed _his_ gun and shot the other two losers as well. I only hurt them enough so that they wouldn't be able to do anything. Anyway, then I asked the manager to open the safety deposit box and I ran with the plane. But when the Marshall caught me in Australia, he got it back and locked it in that case."

Kate finally broke down and cried. She hadn't cried for years before coming to the island, and those times she had cried on the island, she been trying to hold back, but this time she just let it go and many years worth of guilt, pain and fear finally came out. Jack put his arms around her and held her close, and after her sobbing had settled down a bit he said to her…

**A/N: I know, I'm evil, but I needed to wrap up the chapter and I didn't know how, so I just left it on a cliffhanger.**

**Now I'm just gonna go run and hide before the angry mob with torches and pitchforks arrives, demanding that I post the next chapter!**

**ANOTHER A/N: Good luck for the Socceroos' game against Italy tomorrow morning. I really hope we win!**


	7. Finally Happy

**DISCLAIMER: do I really need to repeat myself?**

**A/N: I made a mistake in the first chapter, I said that Luke looked about 35 when I meant 30. So Luke is 30, Kate is 27, she killed Wayne when she was 19, Tom died when he was 24 and Kate was 22, Luke ran away when he was 19 and Kate was 16 and Kate thought he was dead when she was 18 and Luke was 20.**

**Oh, and I've never tried to write soppy romantic stuff before, so I hope that I do ok in this chapter!**

**PREVIOUSLY ON LOST…**

_Kate finally broke down and cried. She had cried on the island before, but those times she had been trying to hold back, but this time she just let it go and ten years worth of guilt, pain and fear finally came out. Jack put an arm around her and held her close, and after her sobbing had settled down a bit he said to her…_

**FINALLY HAPPY**

"Kate, just so you know, I've never seen you as a hardened criminal with no heart and no regrets."

Kate looked up at him and said,

"Excuse me, I have to kill my brother."

Jack gave an embarrassed laugh, "actually, he didn't tell me, I overheard."

Kate pulled away from him and stared at him shocked. Jack looked at the ground sheepishly and continued, "I couldn't sleep yesterday morning and I stumbled on you and Luke. I watched for a second and was about to leave when Luke brought me up, and I…well…I got a little curious."

"I believe that's called 'eavesdropping'," mumbled a VERY shocked Kate looking away.

Jack put a hand under her chin and turned her to face him. He wiped away her tears with his thumb and looked into her eyes.

"Do you know what I _do_ see when I look at you?" He asked her softly. She shook her head slightly.

"I see a beautiful, strong, compassionate, caring, considerate, brave, yet infuriatingly stubborn woman who makes me feel like I'm floating on cloud nine whenever I'm with her. I see a woman who worries more about the safety of those she cares about, than her own safety. A woman who puts herself down and believes she isn't good enough, when I don't think that I'm good enough for her."

Kate gave a bitter laugh at the last sentence, "Jack you're a doctor, I'm a criminal. You save lives and I ruin them. Sarah was a bitch who didn't deserve you, and I'm no better."

"Kate," Jack said softly, "That's exactly what I mean by putting yourself down. Do you think that I care about your past? It doesn't matter because that's what it is! The past! What happened with Sarah was also my fault. If I hadn't been so obsessed with work, then we might still be married, but you know what? I'm glad that it didn't last, because then I wouldn't have met you. And it wouldn't have lasted anyway, because, deep down, I never really loved Sarah. Because what I felt for her, is nothing compared to what I feel for you."

Kate looked at Jack in shock again. "So, what are you saying?" she asked softly.

"I'm saying that…I love you Kate. I love you so much that I can't think straight when I'm around you, and when I'm not around you, I can't stop thinking about you. It killed me to see you with Sawyer all of the time, even though I knew that it was my own fault for pushing you away in the first place."

Kate was in shock. She was completely speechless. She didn't think that he cared. When she finally started to talk, it all came out in a rush.

"I…I was only with Sawyer because, you kept hanging out with Ana Lucia, and I felt lonely and jealous, and no one else has been talking to me very much because they're still in shock about the fact that I'm a criminal. And they keep looking at me funny, as if they're scared of me, and Sawyer was the only one who wouldn't give me that look whenever I was around, and I just wanted someone to talk to. I could have talked to you, but I was scared that you were angry about the kiss, and then Luke came, and I had someone to talk to, but he read me like a book and could tell how I felt about you after he was only here for about a day. He kept telling me to tell you, but I was scared that you didn't feel the same way."

Kate suddenly smiled and whispered softly, "I love you too Jack. I love you so much that I can't stop worrying about whether or not you're taking care of yourself, and I want to make sure that you're ok, and that you don't push yourself too hard. I love you so much that I'm scared of ruining your life by being with you."

Jack smiled back at Kate and replied, "There is way that you could ever ruin my life, especially not by being with me."

And with that, he placed one hand at the nape of her neck, and the other on her waist. He leaned towards her and she met him half way. The kiss was slower and less needy, yet it was just as filled with passion as the last one was. Kate moved her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his short hair. She couldn't remember a time where she had ever felt happier.

"Hey Sawyer! You owe me and Hurley those toiletries and Playboy mags!"

Charlie had woken up and decided to check on Aaron for Claire when he saw Jack and Kate kissing. The pair were too far away to hear Charlie, so they continued with their make out session. However, pretty much everyone else had heard him and stuck their heads out of their tents to see what was up.

Ana Lucia stormed off angrily. Luke smirked at the two. Claire and Sun started giggling together. Rose gave a knowing smile.

"Crap!" Hurley exclaimed, "You'd think that they'd need oxygen sometime soon!"

"Son of a bitch! I was sure that they'd deny if for at least another month!" yelled Sawyer, disbelieving, at the sight before him, however, he decided to make the best of the current situation and do what he loved doing best.

Pissing them off and annoying the hell out of them.

"HEY FRECKLES! DOC! GET A ROOM WILL YA! YOU'RE PUTTING ME OFF MY BREAKFAST!"

The startled couple pulled apart, stunned that they had an audience. After a few minutes of enduring cat calls and wolf whistles, Kate giggled, which sounded a little out of character, but she was on such a high that she didn't care.

"Well, there goes keeping it quiet for a bit," she said looking back at Jack. "But you know what?" she asked.

"What?" he smiled at her.

"I don't care." And with that, she leaned in to kiss him again.

Further along the beach, Luke watched them with a smile, because he knew that his sister was finally happy.

**FINISHED!**

**AT LAST!**

**Sorry about the bad ending. I have no problem starting stories, or continuing them, but when it comes to conclusions, I suck!**

**A round of applause for everyone who reviewed my story! And I am thrilled because only one of my reviewers didn't like my story! I was expecting more people to dislike it!**

**ikot-ikot****: I am currently going for Italy, because if they win, we can say that we got beaten by the best!**

**Devil's Desire****: I don't believe that Kate opening up and crying was out of character. I believe that she had kept up her 'tough girl' front for too long and she couldn't take it anymore and needed to let it all out. Also, this is what I would _like_ to happen, not what I think _will_ happen. Well, at least not anytime soon. I'm glad that you liked the story idea, but I'm sorry that you thought everyone was out of character.**

**jimmy-barnes-13: Tell me about it!**

**HeatherUTSA2003****: Glad you liked it, sorry about the cliffhanger.**

**J.Svensson****: Wow. I didn't think anyone would be so into my story! Once again, sorry about the cliffhanger.**

**Ella Jullian****: See? I _didn't_ let them get interrupted!**

**Orlando-crazy: I did say that I was evil didn't I? Don't say I didn't warn you!**


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